Attention: Changing the rules

So in the spirit of a new month, Spring and all that we decided to set some new ground rules for how this rodeo will go down. Take note.

Sponsorships: 

  • All potential sponsors must go through an intense bootcamp style training session that answers the ultimate question “are you a match for LAUNCHDFW”. No tinder matching here.
  • Sponsorships will be only taken in cash. Bill size does not matter.
  • The following fees will from here on out be incurred:
    • Smart ass fees. When we say you owe us one grand plus 10 red M&M’s, we mean it.
    • Stealing our idea fees. You know who you are.
    • The “I didn’t get your email” fees. *cough cough* MaryClaire.

Article requests/submissions: 

  • Press releases are the preferred method. Sending us a link to your Twitter handle will get you no-where. Not even a new follower.
  • We only have 10 fingers like the rest of you, just a reminder.

Bribery: 

  • No more random gifts. Below we’ve curated a list for you:
    • Makers Mark can forgive any late invoices.
    • If you want 10 minutes with The Godfatha, bring him bourbon & kiss the ring.
    • To garner the attention of the Executive Director, make sure you bring your running shoes and a lavender-scented towel.
    • A Beyonce dance party can get you far with our Editor.

In case you didn’t realize – Happy April Fools guys & gals!

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Lauren Zeien
lauren@launchdfw.com

Lauren spent a year in Chicago's 1871 technology incubator after years climbing the jungle gym of hospitality groups. Lauren's fast paced thinking and lifestyle lead the quick-witted marketer to fulfill the need and turn her attention to propel companies to success - thus creating The Strategy Artists. When not kicking booty with her company you can find her socializing with new people, jogging Katy Trail, cheering her favorite football teams and enjoying all the city has to offer.