01 Apr Attention: Changing the rules
So in the spirit of a new month, Spring and all that we decided to set some new ground rules for how this rodeo will go down. Take note.
- All potential sponsors must go through an intense bootcamp style training session that answers the ultimate question “are you a match for LAUNCHDFW”. No tinder matching here.
- Sponsorships will be only taken in cash. Bill size does not matter.
- The following fees will from here on out be incurred:
- Smart ass fees. When we say you owe us one grand plus 10 red M&M’s, we mean it.
- Stealing our idea fees. You know who you are.
- The “I didn’t get your email” fees. *cough cough* MaryClaire.
- Press releases are the preferred method. Sending us a link to your Twitter handle will get you no-where. Not even a new follower.
- We only have 10 fingers like the rest of you, just a reminder.
- No more random gifts. Below we’ve curated a list for you:
- Makers Mark can forgive any late invoices.
- If you want 10 minutes with The Godfatha, bring him bourbon & kiss the ring.
- To garner the attention of the Executive Director, make sure you bring your running shoes and a lavender-scented towel.
- A Beyonce dance party can get you far with our Editor.
In case you didn’t realize – Happy April Fools guys & gals!